i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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