it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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