But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
