it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The beer is more important than you right now.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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