he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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