when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning