so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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