he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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