HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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