I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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