i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I deserve this hangover.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
