HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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