so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
