i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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