i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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