What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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