I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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