all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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