How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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