I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
