that's an acceptable place to lick
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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