and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
