I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
