Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The power of my boobs compel you
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
