He uses pillows to masturbate.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I didn't notice because vodka
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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