every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
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As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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