I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
