It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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