I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
