i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
