i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
