K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize