We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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