I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
