All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
