Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
