You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think my moral compass just broke
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
