I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Everything about him screamed your future.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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