I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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