So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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