Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
wrigley field is MILF paradise
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
