Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
