I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
