eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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