Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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