people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
