I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
