Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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