State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
