bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
