she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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