You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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