the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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