no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
