if i can run in heels then i can drive
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
