Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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