So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
