Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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