chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
