Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have already put on my inside pants.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
