also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
