non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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