I accidentally burped into my bong.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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