Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
