Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
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and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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