I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You left your underwear on the fireplace
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
