Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
