No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
